My lucky day. I received a personal email from James B. Comey. Yes, that guy, the Director of the FBI. Yep. Me. Well, supposedly me. The salutation was to Dear Beneficiary. Close enough.
Apparently there is a sum of 10.3 million dollars awaiting my attention to be collected you see, and I quote from Mr. Comey,
“It is obvious that you have not received your fund which is to the tune of 10.3M) million due to past corrupt Governmental Officials who almost held the fund to themselves for their selfish reason and some individuals who have taken advantage of your fund all in an attempt to swindle your fund which has led to somany losses from your end and unnecessary delay in the receipt of your fund.for more information do get back to us.
The National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations and Federal Bureau of Investigation have successfully passed a mandate to the government of the states the exercise of clearing all foreign debts owed to you and other individuals and organizations who have been found not to have receive their Contract Sum, Lottery/, Inheritance.
we are happy to inform you that based on our recommendation your outstanding contract inheritance funds of over-due payment in tone of USD 10.3M) has been credited in your favor in Citibank. Having said all this, we will further advise that you go ahead in dealing with the Citibank, IL accordingly as we will be monitoring all their activities with you as well as your correspondence at all levels.”
Further, Mr. Comey graciously warned me that there are many email scams out in the wild wild Interwebs and “We therefore warn our dear citizens to be very careful with any claim email you receive prior to these irregularities so that they do not fall victim to this ugly circumstance anymore.”
However no doubt I should completely trust this email because, you know, who would dare try to scam someone using the name and actual address of the director of the FBI? Not to mention the return email speaks for itself as nothing but trustworthy.
While I can’t say that 10.3 million dollars would not be a very nice bump in my financial status, I am just a tad skeptical. I know, it’s tough being such a cynic all the time. Perhaps it’s the sentence structure and punctuation. Perhaps it’s the overall vagueness, idiocracy or maybe all of it brings to mind that thing with the dying Nigerian Prince but I cannot help but suspect something is amiss here.
Mr.Comey will no doubt be disappointed but I choose to pass on this opportunity.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all the scams, lies and deceptions in the world would be this easy to detect? Unfortunately, even the most obvious seem to find ready prey, those who simply want to believe what isn’t true, especially those lies that sound so darn good.