The Art of Being Acceptable

She confided that she struggled most of her younger life with self-doubt and low self-esteem. She couldn’t explain it other than she was simply constructed that way. She had no blame shift to point to her upbringing or any particular traumatic experience in her childhood. It was simply who and what she was - not quite good enough.

I understood this but it was an interesting revelation because she always seemed to be so well put together, knowledgable and confident. Shows to go you that we can’t always know what’s going on inside someone else.

She said her life long coping skill, that she created for herself, was to stop wondering if she had any worth or whether anyone else thought she had value and just simply be true to herself and God. She quoted Shakespeare “To thine own self be true… .”

She chose to be what she was to the best of her ability and if she did not meet someone else’s expectations of her, she chose to accept that there was nothing she could do about it so she never allowed that condition to stop her or make her want to quit. 

She seemed warmed up to the possibility she could speak freely at last and cited multiple incidents in her life where she had given her all to something only to either get no response or a passing criticism. Over and over, regardless the disappointments, she pulled herself up and kept moving, never feeling as though there was anywhere she could ever fit or be accepted. It was her normal to feel as though she was a non-person, invisible. 

But not irrelevant.

One day, in her early mid-life, she discovered a backdoor, a way into the inter-sanctum state of being ‘acceptable’. From then on it was her great big secret that she shared with God. Every time she applied her new technique, she experienced an unexpected kind of satisfaction that was far better than getting recognized by the mindless mob. Plus she admitted it gave her a one up better view of how fickle and hypocritical the mindless mob can be. Popularity and recognition is not always as advertised.

I asked if she was willing to share her secret. She smiled, then looked to the side as though she was weighing the risks. Finally she responded somewhat conspiratorially, “I live under the radar. I create with no limits or boundaries and then let someone else have the credit then I sit back and see how others respond. If there are cheers I can secretly bask in the glow. If there are crickets or complaints, I look for ways to improve.” 

Then she added, “I finally figured out that pleasing God is way more important than seeking approval from humans anyway. I believe, with much gratitude, that He chose to hide me so I could move about freely and unseen to be and do His will. I don’t need to be acceptable to the world to get His work done. It has always been an amazing experience for me to see the ongoing positive impact of the smallest act of obedience. Like a stone tossed in a still pond that sends ripples to the other side. In fact, at this point, if I was ever to be noticed by the world I’d wonder what I was doing wrong.”

Duly noted.

For Him,

Meema

First Frost

End of summer always stirs up a touch of melancholy in me. This goes all the way back fifty years to when my first batch of kids were little. I’ve never fully understood it unless it meant back to school, back to routine, goodbye to long lazy days, sunshine, swimming, crafts and no schedule. Even having grown grandkids has not put this recurring annual emotional sag to rest. 

Thankfully it never lasts too long, though, because I’m too pragmatic to allow myself to wallow in any vague, unproductive interlude. I get over it as soon as I realize I can have a fire in the fireplace and replace my summer decor with autumn colors and fragrances. And, certainly,  there’s always next summer to look forward to.

This chilly morning, the last day of September, I looked out and was surprised to see smoke on the pond and an unexpected white dusting on the grass and was forced to acknowledge that summer is actually over and winter is coming.  But I also noticed that I don’t care whether or not I change my decor or create something new that did not exist before and concluded that, whatever, the seasons come and go anyway. I asked myself,  “If I skip this year and do not pull out my pumpkins and fall decorations, what difference will it make?” 

This year has been such a challenge on every level that I find myself stagnant in the pause. I’m not motivated. My creative energy, that spark of making do that has always been the engine beneath my positive attitude seems to be stuck. This is way not normal for me. I’ve always been one to embrace life fully day to day. 

Strangely, this felt less pragmatic and more like giving up. 

And then a familiar still small voice that has always challenged me to ignore crisis, naysaying, depression, criticism, or rejection, said the words that have kept me moving forward in the worst of years, those times of pending great unknowns, when it seemed relief and closures were unreachable, that suffering might be the new norm, and nothing I did was right or mattered. 

“Do it for Me.” 

To be clear, I don’t believe for a minute that God cares whether or not my seasonal decor is up to date. The inspiration, or shove into releasing the pause button, is not about worldly things or actions.  Those four words are about standing in the face of adversity, maintaining equilibrium when the ship is listing and might even seem to be sinking, and trusting the One who is the Captain. The effort to keep believing that He is in control is what prevents me from shrinking under the weight of fear of defeat. 

How can we effectively serve Him if we allow ourselves to be neutralized?

We can’t always know what our purpose in the greater scheme of things is, or how our own determination and grit might possibly inspire others to not give up, to not allow the adversary to win the battle. But, we can know, by the example of so many others, who having done all, stood. Those who refused to submit to being silenced or chose to defy the threat of the moment. Those who declared, “Which is worse, quitting or dying while trying?” 

I looked out after the sun was fully up and the frost was melted away. I’m thinking about pulling out my autumn adornments as a confirmation that I got the message. 

For Him,

Meema

Ad Hominem

You can only know and discriminate between the true and the false when you yourself are on the higher ground. 

-T. Austin-Sparks

In a world of 24/7 information puke out, how can you know if you’re being lied to? How do you know you’re being manipulated? Who can you trust? How can you be objective or form good questions if even the right to ask questions goes from being discouraged to being forbidden? How can you discern when something seems ‘off’ in news coverage when it’s not only simplified (to better reach the now dumbed down masses), it feels almost cookie cutter?

The answer is hidden in plain sight.

For quite some time now I have been comparing this modern era to being on the verge of an imitation of art, i.e., like the fictional dystopian worlds of 1984 and The Matrix. In each dark tale, the citizen characters live within a completely totalitarian ruled world. In both stories, one representing the result of devastating ongoing world war and one representing the result of digital technology gone rogue, the masses have no idea they are just pawns in a created illusion. They believe what they are conditioned to believe. They do not ask questions because, well, why should they? They have no idea they exist only to serve the purpose of those who have the keys to the control room. 

Their normal is unrecognized oppression. 

There have been real life examples of such total control of the population many times in human history. In every case, those who had control, were quite brutal to the citizens who thought, because they were promised, that they were part of a great revolution that would bring justice and prosperity to their world. The ugly reality is that millions died at the hands of great leaders such as Lenin, Stalin, Hitler, Mao Zedong, to name a few. The common thread being, of course, socialism/communism. 

I guess this is why there is a huge push to revise history. Need to make sure the younger generation doesn’t know about the abject failures of the ideologies that have never brought prosperity to anyone but those who have the keys. So, how could those people have realized or known that they were being lied to before they were completely overcome? We can’t know what we don’t know but we can be armed with common sense. We can pay attention to the subtle as well as the glaring red flags. If we are smart enough to admit there are red flags.

Those who have diabolical agendas, who have no interest whatsoever in the welfare of anyone but themselves, will often employ compelling tactics known as Logical Fallacy to manipulate the common mindset. An often used variation of distraction tactics that create a smoke screen and diversion is referred to as the Ad Hominem strategy. 

Within the alternate reality of 'attacking the man', when everything you see or hear says exactly the same thing, you are inclined to believe it must be true, because, everyone is saying it. Right? But those who are paying attention will notice that this does not reflect real life. 

Only in a virtual world, created by those who have control over the narrative, will there be consensus of opinion. This does not align with real life and is a huge red flag that something is not right. Historically speaking no president has ever had the approval of all the people or those who produce the news media and therefore all reporting, in real life, is expected to be both good and bad. But what if all the news, in every newspaper, television/radio broadcasts and social media is negative all the time - no exception? 

And now reverse this and ask, what if all comments and reports are only positive, as in Heil Hitler! would that indicate something was wrong as well? 

What if all the negativity causes maverick citizen journalists to launch opposition as a way to defend against the Ad Hominem attacks and then find they must then defend themselves against being canceled or shut down by social media? What if otherwise respected, credentialed professionals across a spectrum of industries, including education, are fired for daring to speak in opposition to the Ad Hominem view point? 

Would this seem surreal in a country founded on free speech and individualism? Would it seem like someone or something sinister is at the master control? 

Would it make sense to conclude that the one who is the focus of all the negativity could not or would not be the one controlling the narrative? 

Would this scenario resemble patterns from history when those who had dark agendas to overcome and enslave a population to totalitarianism in the name of JUSTICE! and PROSPERITY! were successful in completely changing, destroying a country using the same tactics? 

If you noticed the similarities would you start asking questions? Would you even know what questions to ask? 

Would you believe that it could never happen in America? 

For Him,

Meema

Recommended reading: Isaiah 5:1-30